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Posted on: 13/12/2024Christmas Books by Mrs. Emanuel
Translated as "Yuletide Book Flood" the Icelandic tradition of Jolablokaflod sees a list of the year's new books delivered to every Icelander, so that they may carefully choose a Christmas Eve gift for each of their family and friends. Rather than a flood, in this short blog I will do my best to dip a toe into the waters of some of my own favourites and new reading that I hope will appeal to the children of St. Helen’s College!
I urge you also to support your local independent bookshop if you can; booksellers have a wealth of knowledge and expertise to share. Chiltern Bookshops has a gorgeous array of books and gifts, and you can order online at bookshop.org.
For the youngest readers, Mrs. Mann of Robins is a big fan of the legend that is Julia Donaldson. The super rhymes and repeated refrains in all of her stories give the youngest a joyful part in telling the story. Donaldson's festive Stick Man is my firm family favourite - the drama! The tension! Will he EVER get back to the family tree? Jonty Gentoo is Donaldson's latest lovely book about a little penguin searching for home.
Other charmers include The Empty Stocking by Richard Curtis and There's a Tiger on the Train by Mariesa Dulak, in which an everyday train journey is packed with exotic creatures - all missed by Dad who is glued to his phone screen! It's a gentle reminder to us all to be present in the moment. Niji’s Dream is the delightful story of a brave and kind little alien, created by our own Mr Roche, Head of Literacy. The very youngest Ducklings will enjoy these stories and will also love a sturdy board book with bold images like Dear Santa by Rod Campbell or The Christmas Bear by Ian Whybrow.
A Whale of a Time can be had with this wonderful large format poem anthology of the same name, one for every day of the year. Who Let the Words Out? by the poet Joshua Siegal and Bright Bursts of Colour by Matt Goodfellow pack a poetic punch in a paperback.
Entertaining reads for confident readers include Pamela Butchart (think The Great Crisp Robbery), the new Kevin the Vampire series by Matt Brown, Clara Vulliamy's The Dog Squad and the Rabbit & Bear series by Julian Gough. A story anthology such as Puffin Stories is a good idea.
Turning to the older reader, mystery and murder have ruled the shelves for a long time - Robin Stevens' Murder Most Unladylike series is the very best. The Most Unladylike Puzzle Book is a MUST this year for fans and is already beneath my tree (ssh). Secrets of the Snakestone by Piu DasGupta; Birdie by JP Rose and To Be A Cat by Matt Haig and I Am Wolf by Alastair Chisholm are all super reads. Skander and the Unicorn Thief and Katie and Kevin Tsang's Dragon Force series are excellent introductions to fantasy.
For the curious minded I suggest the hardback question and answer book There's No Such Thing as a Silly Question. Excellent for the holidays! The Information Book Awards have just awarded prizes to Darwin's Super Pooping-Worm Spectacular by Polly Owen and Human 2.0: A Celebration of Human Bionics by Patrick Kane; the latter looks at the success of medical engineering and what humans might be capable of in the future. FlyingEyeBooks.com publish extraordinary non-fiction titles; Nosy Crow is excellent all round.
Lastly, the book to provoke the most laughter from all ages in the library has been The Book With No Pictures by B.J. Novak. Check it out! It's a hilarious book which demands to be read aloud. Back to snowy Iceland. Book gifts are exchanged on Christmas Eve so that everyone curls up quietly to explore their new book and a mug of cocoa. I hope you too can find a moment of relaxation with your book choices! Happy Bookmas!
Posted on: 6/12/2024Mantras by Mrs. Hunt
Many of you know that I am an advocate of Elaine Halligan, so much so that I am currently participating in her intensive parent educator course. I have found the experience to be fulfilling, reaffirming and gruelling in equal measures. There is so much of an overlap between how we teach at school and how you parent at home. This is why I always say to parents when showing them around St. Helen's College that if school and home have similar shared values the child will experience maximum benefit. Children need us, the grown ups, to have clear shared values. They need us to be understanding, calm and consistent. They need to feel safe and know that we are in charge in a fair and reasonable way. They need to have fun with us and have opportunities to connect with us on a daily basis.
I am approaching 25 years at St. Helen's College and as a result I am known for some well used mantras. Two of my favourites are “all behaviour is communication” and “win their hearts and you’ll win their minds.” These mantras have been my strongly held beliefs for many years and my recent training has only reaffirmed them in my mind. By taking time to understand our children we connect with them on a deeper level and help them feel valued and worthwhile - and let's face it, we all want that, however old we are!
Teachers and parents alike should look for opportunities to build children’s self-reliance so that they are able to move forward into the world with confidence, perseverance and courage. Having a true understanding of self is key. Helping to build our children’s self esteem is simply our job.
If I had my child to raise all over again
I’d build self esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger paint more, and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes,
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
It matters not whether my child is big or small,
From this day forth, I’ll cherish it all.
I wish I could claim credit for these profound words but sadly they are not mine; they are from Diane Loomans’ book '100 Ways To Build Self Esteem And Teach Values'.
To conclude, thank you for taking the time to read my musings. I encourage you to continue to take the time to connect with your children. You will certainly reap what you sow. There is a reason why I’ve been at St. Helen's College for so long - your children. Learning about each and every one of them and trying to understand what makes them tick is fascinating and unbelievably worthwhile.
I’ll leave you with another one of my mantras; “Children may well forget what you teach them but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Amen to that.
Posted on: 11/10/2024Volunteering at GOSH by Miss Raja-Ross
I have been a volunteer at Great Ormond Street Hospital (GOSH) since 2014. Ten years! I chose to volunteer because I was treated there as a child for a rare blood cancer. My time at GOSH as a child was memorable and happy despite undergoing treatment for my condition. I loved all the kind nurses and doctors as they were so welcoming and the care they showed me was second to none. But my favourite part was the Activity Centre because they had a rabbit called Flopsy who I absolutely adored! Also, my mother became good friends with the lady who ran the centre as well as some of the nurses.
Now, I am part of the Weekend Club Team where we volunteer either on a Saturday or a Sunday (or both!) and we operate from The Cove, which is the new activity centre. We can also go up to the wards in pairs and visit those patients who cannot come down due to surgery or treatment. We have the most amazing therapy dogs of all breeds and sizes and I cannot begin to tell you how fantastic it is to have the dogs and their owners with us for our Weekend Club. They do a wonderful job, especially for those children who are missing their own pets at home. Whilst the Weekend Club is a happy, joyful place, there are, albeit few and far between, some sad moments particularly if we know a child is going through palliative care. Still, we try hard to maintain a positive outlook for the children and their families.
The other thing I love about being a volunteer is being able to participate in the quarterly parties which have themes based on various Roald Dahl books, and seasonal celebrations such as Halloween and Easter. I love to dress up for this, my alter ego is always Wonder Woman! There are lots and lots of fantastic things at the party; candy floss, TV entertainers, painting, face painting, various animals such as giant rabbits, lizards, tarantulas and so much more! Unfortunately, parties have been put on hold since Covid but will hopefully return soon.
On Saturday 12th October 2024, I will be doing a 5K run in Hyde Park (well, a stroll for me!) for GOSH along with several of my Weekend Club colleagues. So if you are free, please come along and support us! You can also sponsor me here, all funds raised will be donated towards a new Children’s Cancer Centre at GOSH.
Posted on: 27/09/2024A Mile In My Shoes by Ms Drummond
Only recently my daughter and I realised that we were like ships passing in the night and we managed to catch each other last Sunday and spent the day celebrating her 25th birthday in a lovely restaurant in Selfridges. Over lunch we shared what we had both been up to, professionally and personally. Both of us have been so busy this month - both love our jobs (she is a wedding and events planner) and we both have busy social lives! It is not until we slow down and actually reflect on what we have achieved, experienced and enjoyed that we can be truly grateful for the lives we have. So, coming to the end of this week I am spending this time reflecting and sharing with you all - my second family - some of the highlights for me (not all of them I may add!!)
Last week I attended the IAPS (Independent Association of Prep Schools) annual conference in Wales along with 400 other Preparatory School Headteachers from across the UK and overseas. It was, as ever, a busy programme of events with Keynote speakers and seminars to attend then superb networking opportunities with other Heads and exhibitors.
The conference was opened by a panel of experts discussing ‘What could the next 5 years look like for independent schools under this government’, chaired by Julie Robinson, the Chair of the Independent Schools Council. Julie was joined by expert guests including Ed Dorrel, Lord David Hacking and Alex Chalk (Former Lord Chancellor and Secretary Of State for Justice). It was fascinating to hear the sparky discussions between all three speakers on what the future may be like under the new Labour government. Later that morning I managed to speak with the inspiring Lord Hacking (aged 86) to thank him for his support of the independent sector and for standing against his own party. Having being privately educated himself, he understands the sector and the sacrifices that many parents make to choose to send their children to an independent school. This lively discussion set the tone for the next few days.
I attended and participated in many more interesting sessions over the course of the few days, including these.
The future of education in a world of artificial intelligence and augmented reality - Ian Symmonds.
Handling a crisis: managing your school and your reputation in the toughest of times.
(This session was emotional as three Headteachers shared their experiences of dealing with critical incidents, all of a different nature, which all of us hope we will never experience as leaders).
Strategies for success in a challenging business environment - David Woodgate.
The conference was closed by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee in conversation with Emilie Darwin as he gave the delegates simple steps to enable us all to thrive not just survive in Headship. I am thankful and grateful to have the most incredible team at St. Helen’s College who all support each other and it is a testament to them that I am able to be out of school attending such events and school life continues as per normal!
Dr. Chatterjee has been involved in a new two part documentary, Swiped: The School that Banned Smartphones, from BOLDPRINT Studios with Matt and Emma Willis, which will be aired on Channel 4 very shortly. I highly recommend that all parents and educators tune in. Shocking research which he discussed with us that we all need to be aware of included the following.
50% of all 9 year olds in the UK own a smartphone [1] with 43% of UK teens using their smartphones during school lessons [2]. Alarmingly, frequent social media use has been found to increase a child’s risk of depression by 27% [3] and a recent Education Select Committee report revealed that one in four children now use their phones in a manner resembling behavioural addiction [4]. Even more concerning, half of children have accessed violent pornography on a screen by the age of 13 [5] and 21% of 9 – 12 year olds agree that it is normal for children their age to share nude or semi-nude images online [6].
As well as attending the IAPS conference last week, we have also been visited by a reviewer from The Good Schools Guide. They spent a morning in school on Monday, speaking and touring with me to find out more about St. Helen’s College, and we now await their written review.
We have had prospective parents touring the school almost every day since we returned to school and of course many of you know that on Monday morning I also received the call from ISI (The Independent Schools Inspectorate) to inform us that a team of inspectors would be arriving on Tuesday morning. The school is inspected every three years by ISI. ISI is an organisation responsible for the inspection of Independent schools in England. It is a government-approved, independent body that provides objective evaluations of schools, focusing on educational quality and the well-being of students.
So this week we have had the pleasure of a team of five inspectors immersing themselves in the daily life of St. Helen’s College and experiencing what your children do: attending lessons, observing playtimes, eating with the children, speaking with your children and the staff about the school. Leadership and management and the safeguarding of the pupil are overarching aspects of the ISI new framework and it has been a very thorough process. Thank you to those of you who completed the parent surveys which helps the team enormously. Inspectors also met with Mr. and Mrs. Crehan, Miss Beckett and our new Chair Mr. Forsyth and safeguarding governor and Director of Education Ms Storey, to enable them to have oversight of the governance of the school since our last inspection.
The stars of our inspection process though are your children! They have represented the beating heart of the school and why we do what we do and, as you might expect, they have done so with confidence, enthusiasm, joy and humility. I am sure that many of you have heard about the various meetings that your children have had with the team and the lessons in which their learning has been observed.
The staff have also enjoyed showcasing their expertise and as I sit here awaiting the feedback from the inspectors I can share with you the great pride I have in being part of this incredible community!
On Wednesday evening we also had 79 members of the school community engaged in the Parent Practice webinar run by Elaine Halligan. The feedback on this session has been so positive and we all left the session with excellent tips to enable us all to continue being the best parents we can be!
All in all it has been an incredibly busy two weeks! I may not have done much outside of my professional life but tonight I will enjoy reconnecting with my well-being and participating in my yoga, pilates and swimming. I will also be relaxing with friends over the weekend!
Happy weekend!
Ms Drummond
Posted on: 6/09/2024Giving Blood
This week we have a guest blog from Mrs. Mann, one of our Nursery teachers. Reading this blog brought back memories for me from when I started to give blood as a student at university back in the day as an 18 year old when I really did not appreciate the full impact of what it meant to give blood. Unfortunately, I am now no longer able to give blood and am proud to hear of the efforts of so many members of our community. Thank you, Mrs. Mann, for your reflection and inspiration.
Giving Blood
During the summer break I attended a blood donation session. This is something I try to do every three months, although it is not always possible for a variety of reasons. From a very early age I remember my parents going into a room with lots of people and nurses (at this time children could wait in the waiting room quietly). After a while they would come out with a white plaster on their arm, a sticker and a chocolate bar. As I got older I began to ask more questions about what was happening. I remember being told that the nurses were taking some blood out to give to people who needed it.
Our bodies are incredible things - we can give our healthy blood (which is thoroughly tested) to others and our own bodies efficiently recover. This blew my mind as a child and was something I was keen to do when I was old enough. Having joined the St. John’s Ambulance from the age of 6 until 20, I had seen first hand how a simple accident could result in an emergency trip to the hospital and the potential need for that patient to require ‘someone else's blood’.
My attendance to give blood this summer was not just any, it was my 50th. I feel incredibly proud that by giving blood on 50 separate occasions I have potentially helped to save and improve the lives of 100 patients. Life is precious and we never know when we may need someone's donation.
The process has changed greatly over the years: now, you have to book your session in advance (which reduces your wait time) and no children are allowed. The sugary treats at the end are still very much available and appreciated!
Giving blood is not completely pain free but honestly it really does not hurt that much. The nurses are wonderful and they take good care of you from testing your iron levels (which I am generally more anxious about), making you comfortable during the donation and making sure you are ready to go on your way.
If you can, please, please ‘do something amazing and give blood’. Every single donation is a great achievement. We never know when family, friends or even ourselves may need it.
You can check if you are able to here: https://www.blood.co.uk/.
‘Let’s save lives together’.
Mrs. Mann
Posted on: 12/07/2024Year 6 Leavers' Speech by Ms Drummond
Ladies and Gentlemen, Parents, Teachers and Year 6 pupils,
A few years ago I thought that it would be a good idea to link my leaving speech for Year 6 to the play which they had just performed! Not an easy task on occasions - but here goes!!
What a marvellous journey we have had together this year, much like the adventures of the beloved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Today, we gather to celebrate not just the end of the school year, but also the wonderful achievements and growth of our Year 6 leavers. As we reflect on our time together, we can draw many parallels to the exciting tale of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, a story of dreams, determination, innovation and discovery.
Much like Caractacus Potts, who saw potential in an old, run-down car and transformed it into the magical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, our dedicated teachers and staff have nurtured your talents and potential. They have worked tirelessly to inspire and guide you, turning each day into an opportunity for learning and growth. Together, we have built something remarkable – a community where dreams are encouraged and possibilities are endless.
To our Year 6 students, you have been the fearless adventurers, much like Jeremy and Jemima. You have faced challenges with courage, approached learning with curiosity, and supported each other through thick and thin. Remember the thrilling moments in the story when Chitty soared through the skies or sailed the seas? Those moments symbolise the heights you can reach and the uncharted waters you can explore with your knowledge, skills and experiences from St. Helen’s College.
Just as Truly Scrumptious became an important part of the Potts family's adventure, your friendships and bonds with classmates have added colour and joy to your journey. These relationships, built on trust and shared experiences, will remain with you as you move forward into the next exciting chapter of your lives.
And let us not forget the villains in our story – the outrageous (but most loveable) Baron and Baroness Bomburst. They represent the obstacles and fears you have faced and overcome. Whether it was a tricky maths problem, a challenging project, or learning from home during unprecedented times, you have shown resilience and resourcefulness, proving that you can tackle any obstacle in your path. The Baron and Baroness employed the enforcer ‘The Child Catcher’ as they had an intense dislike for children and children were forbidden by law in the fictional land of Vulgaria!
Vulgaria certainly is a far cry from our incredibly real land of ‘St. Helen’s College’ where children are very much loved and at the centre of all our decisions! And thankfully we have no child catchers lurking at each corner!!
In fact, quite the opposite. The community around you at St. Helen’s College has only ever wanted to keep you safe and happy, and help you in your endeavours. Your performances in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang were astonishingly accomplished. We saw this in rehearsals, at school and at the theatre. But the success of the final shows depended not only on the cast, but also on the audience. The parents and other family members, the staff and friends who watched on, willing you all to do well, ready to support you if it went wrong and eager to celebrate the joy of your successes. You are so fortunate to have such supportive, loving families who chose St. Helen’s College for you and have been such a bit part of your school journey too. When it comes to a school, it is crucial that parents and staff work together in the best interests of the pupils - team work really does make the dream work!
As you leave Year 6 and head towards new adventures, we hope you will carry with you the spirit of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Embrace your creativity, trust in your abilities, and always be ready for an adventure. Keep dreaming big, and never be afraid to let your imagination take flight. Remember that every problem has a solution, and every challenge is an opportunity to grow.
In conclusion, I want to thank each and every one of you – students, parents, and staff – for being part of this incredible journey. Year 6, as you drive off into the future, much like our magical car, may your engines roar with excitement, and may you soar to new heights. Your adventure is just beginning, and we can't wait to see where it will take you.
Congratulations, Year 6! Remember, the sky's the limit and that it is teamwork that makes the dreamwork!
Thank you.
Ms Drummond
Posted on: 12/07/2024Anastasiia by Mrs. Smith
Many of you will remember the 2022 blog I wrote about Anastasiia, the Ukrainian refugee whom my husband and I were sponsoring through the Homes For Ukraine scheme in 2022. I can’t believe over two years have passed since then.
In the end, Anastasiia did not come to us in 2022. She reached Barcelona and, by the time her UK visa came through, she had already found a job and decided, understandably, to stay, even though she spoke no Spanish. She spent over two years there, but she finally arrived to live with us last week. We are really enjoying getting to know her: she is a resilient, courageous young woman who has suffered more uncertainty and trauma in her short life than we can imagine. It is unbelievable that, just as Covid was coming to an end, her country was invaded and life became completely unsafe and unbearable for her and other Ukrainians. The conversations we have had in just one week about the things she has seen and overcome, and her associated emotional and practical struggles, related in her trademark matter-of-fact tone, have been frankly heart-breaking.
My husband and I met almost 30 years ago at university in London. We have been married for 25 years, worked hard, raised a family and suffered serious illnesses and bereavements as well as some of the most joyous times. Last year I completed my MA and in October I begin my PHD. We have seen our sons make their way through prep school, grammar school, university and the world of work. But in seven days, Anastasiia has taught our family more than we might ever have learned without meeting her. Is there any lesson more important than how to find the courage and resilience to look adversity squarely in the face, discover fearlessly who you really are, and push yourself to work to become the best person you can be for yourself and the world?
Anastasiia was just 18 when she fled Ukraine, two weeks after the war started, and made her way across Europe alone with just a suitcase and backpack. Her mother had already left; her brother, father and grandmother remained behind in Kherson, which was under attack. I am glad to say that they are all now out of Ukraine and safe in different countries. While in Barcelona, alongside working full time in any job she could find to support herself, Anastasiia continued her passion of drawing and design and submitted a portfolio of work and an application (which she managed herself, in a foreign language!) to the University of Arts, London. Only around a quarter of applicants to this prestigious university are successful, and she was one of them. She is living with us now with a view to moving into university halls in London to complete her foundation year and then a three year Bachelor of Arts. It has been her dream for several years to do so and, because of the terrible circumstances of her life, she is starting her studies three years later than most UK students would. She arrived in London exhausted and under a lot of stress, still with just one suitcase of belongings, but enormously excited about the prospect of student life ahead of her.
However, there is already another sizeable bump in the road. Anastasiia is determined to keep working online for the website/graphic design company employing her, although - run by another displaced Ukrainian - it is not well-paid. She has applied for a loan for her university tuition fees, which she will have to re-pay. But it turns out that she cannot apply for a loan for maintenance costs, as UK students can, because her foundation year is not an integrated part of a four year degree. We have discovered that, once her tuition fee loan is approved, she can apply for a hardship bursary to help with living costs, but it would not cover all of her accommodation costs. And because of one of those frustrating bureaucratic glitches, she can’t apply for the bursary - which there is, anyway, no guarantee she will get - until she’s already enrolled at the college in September. Meanwhile, her accommodation have already sent an advance bill of almost £3000 which must be paid by mid-August.
Anastasiia is an incredible young woman and her journey is just beginning. She is extremely upset by this latest hurdle, and trying to be practical about the fact that she might not be able to take up the university place she has earned. Watching on, I am enormously proud of what she has achieved and coped with over the last three years and humbled by her attitude in the face of every obstacle. I feel so deeply that she deserves the chance to pursue her dream. Many of you asked how you could help and wanted to send money for Anastasiia when she was due to arrive in England in 2022 and news of the Ukraine war was shocking us all. The situation in Ukraine is still shocking; it is still completely unsafe for Anastasiia to return to her home country. Her family, all now refugees, have lost their homes and are scattered across Eastern and Western Europe each doing their best to survive and, hopefully, to keep physically and mentally strong. So if you would like to help Anastasiia take the next step of her extraordinary journey, please consider donating anything, however small, to a collection fund to help her on her way to her foundation year, and to the freedom, she’s so determined to achieve. The fund will remain open for donations until the end of July. I know that Anastasiia will do it alone, somehow, someday, if she has to. But I hope you’ll agree that she deserves a chance to do it now, with our love and support.
Anastasiia’s Fund
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Mrs. Smith
Posted on: 28/06/2024Early Years by Mrs. Hunt
As we move towards the end of another school year, I find myself in a reflective mood. In my role it is easy to get caught up in the organisation of events, constantly having to look ahead and put planning in place. I have to remind myself to stay in the moment and appreciate the here and now.
I had such a moment this week and took myself off to the nursery. I found the most delightful atmosphere, where the children were absorbed in activities both inside and outdoors. I sat with a group of children who were engrossed with kneading lavender flowers into dough. We chatted easily and in those moments I witnessed numerous learning opportunities unfold and, being the Early Years educator I am at heart, I was delighted to facilitate. Sadly, Mrs. Rooney soon came to find me, as I was needed in a meeting. I could have happily stayed longer and openly expressed my reluctance to go. I was heartwarmingly reassured by a child not to worry and that they would still be there if I wanted to play again later!
At the Summer Fete on Saturday, I sat with a parent who told me she would rather like my job! I have been at St. Helen’s College a long time now and have seen many children come and go. I feel privileged to have spent so much time with the children, since being with them is my happy place. Equally, having a team of colleagues who understand the importance of Early Years education and development is vital. We know that these formative years from 0 - 5 are so important for the children and our interactions have a huge impact. Of course, we couldn’t be effective without working with our St. Helen’s College families, working together for a common goal: the best outcomes for the children.
Life is tricky for all of us at times - we are all pushing treacle of some kind or another. But if we allow ourselves to take a moment and look for the learning opportunities children give us, I promise we won’t have to look far.
So to the lovely parent at the Summer Fete - sorry, but my job is not available! Our current value at school is gratitude and I am grateful in so many ways: to the parents who entrust us with their children’s care and education, to the incredible team of colleagues I work alongside and, most of all, to the children for their awe and wonder as they learn and discover, for their kindness, their humour and their open heartedness.
I am sure you all know how important the Early Years are, and how we, as the grown ups, have a duty to play our part. However, if you need further convincing and you have about eight minutes to spare I encourage you to watch this link.
Mrs. Hunt
Posted on: 21/06/2024Perfectly Normal by Mrs. Smith
Last Friday’s Middle and Upper School Singing Competitions were spectacular. Children from Years 2 to 6 performed throughout the afternoon in solo and group categories and the standard was astonishingly high. I’m sure that everyone who attended one or both of the two events left school, like I did, feeling proud and fulfilled.
At the Middle School Competition, something very normal and yet very special happened. One of the Year 2 girls, competing in the solo category, walked up to the stage, looked out at the hall full of children, judges and parents, became tearful and did not want to perform. She looked to Mrs. Garnes, who was stageside managing the music, and immediately left the stage. With a minimum of fuss, Mrs. Garnes wisely directed her to re-take her seat with the other competitors at the front of the hall, and moved on to the next competitor.
I happened to be the member of staff sitting closest to Amina when she returned to her seat so I leant forward, put my hand on her back, passed her a tissue and asked if she was okay. Amina knows me, of course, but not as well as she knows other members of staff. I glanced back to Mrs. Hussein, her form teacher, who was standing to offer help, and I could sense that other staff around the hall felt just as I did - that we’d like to take Amina, wipe away her tears and offer words of reassurance and encouragement. I expect her parents, watching, felt the same. I asked Amina in a whisper if she’d like to go to Mrs. Hussein and she bravely shook her head.
It is hard to wait and watch when someone is upset or struggling. You want so much to make things better for them. It is, perhaps, one of the hardest parts of parenting or working in a school. I kept an eye on Amina as the competition continued. I watched her cry a little, dry her tears, and become engrossed in the other performances. Left alone, with the music to concentrate on, she soon moved past her difficult feelings and, when the other performers had finished, I leant forwards and asked her if she wanted to perform now. Amina nodded. I looked to Mrs. Garnes and, with no hesitation, Amina took the stage.
She gave a wonderful performance and, in the end, was deservedly crowned the Year 2 winner of the competition. She did not win because she had shown resilience and bravery, although that was certainly true (but so had all the other competitors); she won because her performance was really super.
Feeling anxious or becoming temporarily overwhelmed in a situation like this is absolutely normal, perfectly understandable and a healthy part of growing up. It can also be of great personal benefit: it is through experiencing, facing and moving past emotions like fear or nervousness that we build our self-awareness, self-esteem, confidence and resilience. The values-based education that we offer at St. Helen’s College takes one value a week - such as resilience, kindness, determination - and considers it. But teaching these values is not about describing them in words; it is the lived experience of them that embeds them and makes a person who they are. This is partly why we run our ‘value spotters’ system, through which children nominate other children who have demonstrated that week’s value.
It truly can be difficult to hold open a space while someone struggles with strong emotion. But it is crucial to allow children - and adults - to experience difficulty and find, somehow, the strength to overcome it themselves. We really do all have it in ourselves to do so.
For this reason, during our Year 4 Mindfulness programme ‘Paws b’ the children actually watch a video of a little girl who takes part in X Factor. She feels nerves kick in and her amygdala reacts so that her ‘flight, fright, freeze’ instinct is activated. We teach the children about our brains and how we can help to control our brains with the power of our minds and simple breathing techniques. This, of course, is a life long skill for us all when we feel anxious.
When I sought out Amina after the competition to congratulate her on her win, I deliberately did not mention her wobble. But she smiled an enormous smile, holding her medal, and said, ‘Thank you. And thank you for the tissue.’ I understood from those few words that she recognised that the difficulty she had experienced that afternoon, and her ability to overcome it, was also a huge part of her reward.
Thank you, Amina, and thank you to all of the other competitors who overcame their nerves to sing so brilliantly last Friday. Although I have written about one child, you will all have felt similar feelings and will all have experienced similar personal growth, which makes you all winners. Those of you who did not win a medal or trophy will, no doubt, have experienced and learnt to overcome disappointment - another hugely valuable skill. Thank you, all of you, for the wonderful music, and thank you for the lesson. Huge thanks also to all of the parents who supported the event and, we know, supported the children in their valuable lesson.
Mrs. Smith
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